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MT Tales

Tell us your favourite prang story, about the time you drove away from a Vulcan with your hose still connected or the time the snow was so deep you didn't notice the runway markers till they flew out of the T54's chute.


You are here: "Archive 1"

Bill and Ian,

Please find below the full version of the MT song as I can remember it.
from Glyn Bromham. MTD 1973 - still stationed at Lossie.

Tonning down the autobahn 90 miles an hour we are the MT Section we are a F****** shower we can't change up and we can't change down the gear box is in but its upside down we are the MT Section we are a F****** shower. Early Sunday morning Section's on parade a brass band's playing a donkey's serenade some silly B****** shouts right dress you should have seen the F****** mess we are the MT Section we are a Bloody Shower. If your wagons in the s*** never mind if your wagons in the s*** never mind there's a handle at the front you can swing it like a C*** if your wagons in the shit never mind.

All the best again

Have a good Christmas and new year.

Glyn Bromham

Dear Bill
As I remember it at Sek Kong 1956 We had another verse that went--

30 40 must go faster
suddenly there is disaster
first a squeal then a grunt
take the chinky off the front
Cheers Cliff Lowe

I Visit this site at least three times a week, it gets better & better, I've found lost mates and had many laughs, thanks very much guys, keep it up, Brilliant site!!

Chris Abbott
RAF Benson
MT Control

Howdy fellow underpaid grafters,

My name is Marv Scenters, a Cpl MTD sunning it up in Akrotiri. Just thought I'd give you a 'minor prang' tale of my own. It was at lovely St Athan in the summer of 1993. I was living at St Mawgan and had gone back to 'saints as an LAC to do my 'heavies'. Things were going pretty well throughout the course (waking up still half-cut from the grafton, wide eyed after experiencing the wonders of the V.C night, begging your co-driver to take the first stint 'cause the thought of Culverhouse Cross with a hangover was too much to handle, etc...). Before I knew it it was test day. (I feel I must add here that I had an early, beer free night the night before my test). Off I went on the "camp to Maindy Barracks" route. Lo and behold 'one a month moss' had passed me!! Hurrah! Just the solo drive to do then I can go home, lovely. So it was back to camp and after a spot of 'lunch' I reported to tac-cell where I was given my route and little Bedford. Off I popped on my 'round robin' which would bring me down 5 mile lane, onto the Barry road and back to camp. Sorted, job done ! not quite. Coming down 5 mile lane the road had a nasty sharp right hander and narrowed. Coming in the opposite direction was a civvy coach. We were both doing 40mph (there are witnesses!!) And all of a sudden....bang. Head-on collision making a bit of a mess (front axle snapped, chassis twisted and the cab collapsed around me). Both vehicles were subsequently written-off. Thankfully there were no major injuries, a lot of hurt pride and a longer stay at saints than I had hoped for though.

I am led to believe that since that day all solo drives were done the next day and 5 mile lane became out of bounds. I hereby apologise to all MTD's that had to stay an extra day after their test. But my only real regret is that I never got a photo of the wagon after the prang. Does anyone know of any?

Keep up the good work, it is a great site. And remember........don't let the Vietnamese sock thieves put ferrets in your lightbulbs.


Hello Bill & Ian, here's my time in the air Force in the form of a poem hope you like it and by the why I think the website is great 

All the best Richard (Taff) Jones
Royal Air Force

Pull up a sand bag and listen to my story
Who joined up for blood guts and glory
Sit down lads and smoke your fags
Were just a bunch of hair raising lads

Sent down to Cornwall fit as a flea
Joined the R.A.F its my cup of tea
Just left training and fit to pull
Who´d join the Army and all that bull

We went to St Mawgan fit and prepared
Our sight I think was slightly impaired
Fit to fight for Queen and country
Ended up Brahms and list in the Cornish county

Put on shift with my mate Tommy
I thought he was a bleed'in commie
Only joking he was my best mate
We´d always get drunk and stay out late

The first three years I made lots of mates
And always too drunk to go out on dates
Sometimes referred to me as a party animal
It was never to late to join a carnival

First of the month and feeling flush
Its out on the town in a flash
As a newt within the hour
Then every bird looks like a flower

Middle of the month and no more cash
That's put pay to all that flash
As I lay in my bed and try to think
Ill have to beg steal and borrow to get a drink

Its down to the gym with-out desire
To be rid of this spare tyre
For the next two weeks its up and run
And less and less of all the fun

First of the month and fit to bust
Ill have to get rid of all this lust
Have a drink put out the fire
Then off to the gym with-out desire

At St Mawgan I made one good friend
All-though I think he was around the bend
Tommy was his name, Ive all-ready said
I later found out he was all-right in the head

St Mawgan is gone, we all departed
Some of us were down hearted
Were off to foreign places and stories untold
So peckers up and lets be bold

Ill always remember the careers office
Oh so full of joy and sweet promise
The sergeant with a smile and cup of tea
I think he took the Mick out of me

Join up lad get off your arse
There's no need to be in the lower class
There's nothing hidden up my sleeve
How could I have been so naive

I took the Queens shilling
And went very willing
Left the office as high as a kite
Brahms and list that same night

Never regretted signing my name
I thought the R.A.F very tame
As I look back to the R.A.F 
Never would I change or ever had left.

Richard (TAFF) Jones
St Mawgan January 1981-Nov 83

Hi Guys, 
Can you help me out. The professional drivers association of which I'm a member are starting to offer there new members (If interested) the chance to take part in training days. these are to take place up and down the country at various locations (Normally Hauliers yards) these training days which are free to members of the PDA are on whatever the new driver wants. ie reversing tuition, help coupling up artic trailers. all basic stuff , but important nevertheless. anyhow, a few of us have been asked could we show these new guys the basics of load and restraint, roping and sheeting etc. I'm only to glad to help. but whilst the practical is easy the theory isn't. When I did my load restraint course at Saints we were given lots of different booklets on the subject and I was going to refer to some of these, unfortunately I cant find my copies and therefore I am on the scrounge for some. would it be possible via Pist'n'broke to ask the members could they either loan or photocopy any of the load restraint booklets and send to me. I will gladly pay all postage charges. 
As I said before I am in need off these notes to help (Free of charge) new drivers in the basics of load and restraint. I would be very grateful if anyone can help out. 
kind regards 
Dave Lloyd 

PS. if you want to know more about the PDA they can be found at
Thank You.

I joined the RAF in March 1957, as a driver, and did my driver training at Weeton. In August '57 I was posted to RAF Negombo (later called Katunayake), Ceylon. I served in Ceylon until March '60 and whilst there did a crane ops course at Seletar, Singapore. To obtain my MTD (OP) you had to pass out on three specialist vehicles. I took cranes, refuellers and tug masters and on return to the UK was posted to Waddington. I had four years at Waddington and during the early '60's it was hard work with three V bomber squadrons continually on exercise and being dispersed all over the country.
In '64 I applied for special duty and was posted to Fontainebleau in France. What a job! I was assigned to drive the scientific advisor to NATO and he treated me and my family really well. Due to being involved in an air crash whilst returning from Ceylon, the RAF let me finish my nine year engagement, but due to my medical category, they kicked me out. I have since completed 30 years in the police service and have now retired to sunny Wales. The attached photographs from my time in Ceylon really dates me!

Another nice little story this - For a period, whilst stationed at Waddington in the early 60's, I worked on tanker pool. We had 44, 50, 101Sqdns and 230OCU, all Vulcans, so we were kept busy as they were flying night and day around the clock. We used to refuel the tankers from a bulk installation, which was near to the dispersal where a squadron was always on QRA standby i.e. bombed up and ready to go to war. It was always a race to get back to tanker pool to continue are game of dommies so one night my mate and I were refuelling our tankers from bulk - we were both empty - so should have completed our loading at the same time. I heard my mate Pete start his tanker, crash it into gear and drive off out of the POL installation. How did he fill up that quick I thought. The next thing I heard was the POL Storeman screaming for him to stop. The prat! instead of filling up in the normal way Pete had coupled up to the belly coupling, in this way you get it in faster, but it was strictly against all the rules. OK he could have got away with it, but he simply forgot to disconnect from bulk before pulling away. You guessed it - he pulled the belly coupling right out of the tanker and 2,500 gallons of Avtur came pouring out - it was hilarious to see Pete trying to stop the flow by pushing his beret into the hole - he yelled for me to couple up my tanker to his and try to defuel him, but of course there wasn't time - I couldn't help him anyway because I was laughing to bust a gut. The poor POL Storeman shit himself because he realized that he was for the high jump as well for allowing Pete to refuel through the belly coupling. The story doesn't end there though - The 2500 gallons of Avtur ran down the peri track and flooded the QRA dispersal, thus the squadron on standby would have been prevented from start up should the need have arisen because of the fire risk. The Station Commander was not a happy chappie because he had to declare to Bomber Command HQ that his QRA squadron was grounded! At the subsequent "Do you wish to accept my punishment or apply for a court martial", Pete was fined two weeks pay (£15)
For some reason Pete was sent back to the MT Section to do RR's
Keep up the good work - a great site 

Kind regards, Dave Bloomfield

I don't know you but having spent over ten years within the MT trade I've learnt through the crew rooms all over the world of many icons in our trade.
This site is the best site I've seen for years and it all down to you two...Thank you so much for that.
I now tell any MTD to look up this site in the hope that old and new lads can not only contact friends but also keep in touch on a day to day basis. I just wonder if it would be possible to contact every MT Section and send a poster and or e-mail to each crew room so that more people are made aware of this outstanding site within are trade.

Please keep up the good work and thank you once again. I've already had e-mails from all over the world and have managed to get up to speed on the whereabouts of mates I haven't spoke too in years.
thanks lads

Ian Maddog Boldy

Hi Gents,

I think the site is a brill idea and it is enjoyable tracing old mates and reading the old stories.  This leads me to my first prang:

It was when I was at Lyneham, first posting as a driver (MT Mech before I seen the Light ha! ha!), just past my HGV 3 (CAT 'C' for you young ones), and let loose around the South West in a Bedford CL 3 Tonner.  If you've been to Lyneham you'll remember SWAD, this was my task for the week.  Myself and a colleague (who will stay nameless but most will know him) were looking for our next cargo drop near Portsmouth, we hadn't a clue where it was.  We spotted a nice friendly chippy (was lunch time as well) and decided to stop and ask directions (and a bite to eat).  The chippy was on a dual carriage way with a large area at the front and only car parking space to the rear.  My co driver said we would have to park in the area outside the front of the chippy.  So, I mounted the kerb, slowly edged between the garden furniture of the chippy (on my nearside) and the bus shelter (on my offside) to park the vehicle.  I got past the shelter with the front of the vehicle and mirrors and straightened up to park straight when BANG, SMASH & TINKLE, I hit the shelter with the tilt of the vehicle.  After my co driver stopped laughing he got out and went into the chippy.  Two minutes later he is rolling out of the chippy, laughing and clutching his sides.  The woman who was running the chippy had told him that the shelter had only been put up on the Tuesday (the day now being Friday) and had been knocked down the previous Friday by another vehicle.  For weeks later I took lots of stick and every vehicle I went out in had a Dayglo bus shelter on.  Well some may remember the incident and I hope it brought them a laugh.

Yours thankfully
Jimmy Somerville
Keep it up, Greattttttt!!!

Hi guy's; in a recent e-mail I sent to you I said that a young girl was sent out to France from Bruggen. I got the name wrong it was Ruth Nicholson, not Ruth Marshall. And I spelt Bruggen wrong! 

These matters were brought to my attention by the accused, Cpl John Millard.

However, Let me tell you of further tales of damn right greed above and beyond the call of duty.

Lets call the person in this tale, Johnny for the sake of not embarrassing that Cpl...hmm?

Well RAF Waddington used to run a shuttle bus from Waddington to Lyneham, every weekend. This job used to be quite a nice little earner, rates for the weekend etc....easy money. Well Johnny soon got the idea that he and his then girlfriend would volunteer to work these weekends, to make some cash.

Well Johnny soon had the entire six months booked in advance. He and his girlfriend ( mitre heed ) as she is lovingly known, had the whole thing stitched up. That is until the jobs got cancelled..then a retraction of their own was made from the duty diary! Bastards!

I accuse Cpl Johnny Millard of trying to corner the rates market of RAF Waddington and trying to use up the entire NATO stock of 1771's.

Mick Dyer

Hi just found your Site

Ex RAF Mover  here  worked closely with MT during Service at Sharjah (1976/7 and Akrotiri 1972/74)

Here is a short anecdote for you;

The mountain/desert Rescue team either came or were based in Sharjah (Can't remember which)  and they went off out into the desert and got lost/bogged down  and required recovering by the MT  Section, needless to say  successfully.

The following morning, outside  MT  was a huge  sign which  read


Caused quite a laugh as I recall

Thanks  keep up good work


MIKE BUSH  ex  air mover  demob 1977

I am a Cpl MT at sunny Akrotiri at the moment and I would like to tell a tale of roping and stropping above and beyond the call of duty (sanity) I was once a proud member of 2 MT Stafford. Having been tasked to drive to a lovely part of France, just south of Bordeaux. As the professional set up that we were we loaded our trucks and headed off for Bordeaux.

Two days later another truck turned up from Bruggen MT carrying a small Tractor and an oxy bottle rig. A blonde girl was driving (Ruth Nicholson) I was asked to help unload the vehicle. I took one look at the load and turned to the young lady and asked if Cpl John Millard had loaded the vehicle? She said, "yes how did you know that?"

The answer was quite simple really, John had managed to use no less the twenty five strops to secure the load. It looked as if the load was actually a box of strops that had burst open in transit!

I would like to nominate Cpl J Millard as being guilty of trying to smuggle the entire NATO stock of strops out of Germany!

Mick Dyer

Omigawd. Have you heard about the two MTD's in Park Lane propositioned by a Lady of Ill Repute? Or the real reason why the FS's office at North Luffenham was soaked? Thousands of stories - and all of them published soon! 

"Sorry Boss, it was my fault. Do you want me to fill in an FMT 3 now?"

Andy Arnold

How to get one over on an officer...............I had been at Gutersloh more than 2 years and was on night shift, one of our last duties before retiring for the night (yes it was a sleeping duty, nights 5pm till 8am, bed by midnight up at 7am time for breakfast and off to a local factory for a day shift) was for us to pile in to a mini (No, not that one in the corner humming away with the stink of spilt milk gone sour that had gotten under the rubber mating and gone green!!, open the door and collapse, sat there for months like that...) and go round the Officers Mess and Married Quarters collecting the Wing CO's Mini's for checking over and refuelling. This particular night I had dropped of Two drivers at the Officers mess and was taking one more driver to the married Quarters, we had a right mixture of left and right hand drives on the fleet, and this evening I was using a R/H drive. As I drove along the camp road (it was about 11pm in old money) I had headlights approaching me on my side of the road, I stopped, as did the Triumph spitfire coming at me, an Officer got out and approached me, apologising and explaining that he had only just arrived in Germany and was confused as to which side of the road he should be on, asking which one of us was on the wrong side, I explained that he was, he accepted and returned to his car, backed up pulled forward and on to the other side of the road, I set off again, the other driver (can't remember who it was) said I was a cool customer getting away with that, then the penny dropped.... Woops!!!, I often wonder how long he stayed driving on the left in Germany.......

Derek L

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